Tuesday, June 5, 2012

How does your geographic location influence your marriage?

I'm 27. As I look around most of my friends are getting set in some sort of career. That means they are moving to new locations for those new jobs, getting new places, and getting set in a routine.

I did the same thing. My husband and I moved for his new job, and then I found a new job. We didn't start with a lot of friends where we live. This was a huge change from college.

Making new friends was a lot harder than I thought it would be. We were so well connected by the time we left college that moving to a new city was a shock. I assumed that since we had dozens of friends in college that we would easily and quickly find new friends in our new city. Wrong. It took us a few years and several months of depression for me to figure it out.

How did we make friends? We wound up finding an organization (a big church) with lots of young people. Even though we joined a class for young, married couples...we still didn't immediately have a circle of friends. The new friends came one at a time. Those first conversations were very awkward and difficult. The first year of hanging out with new people was more of a "get to know you" year. I was so disheartened because friends weren't coming quickly/easily. But, as time moved on, we became very close with some of the couples. So close that I would feel comfortable calling one of my new girlfriends crying:)

I've noticed that many of my other college friends are having the same struggles. I think one big way to seek out those new friendships is through organizations such as recreational sports teams, church, work friends, clubs, etc. It's hard because I don't think my generation is one to quickly join an organization. In fact, I heard that my generation tends to only join one or two organizations that they deeply believe in. That means it may take a while before you find what you're looking for (if you're my age).

It's not easy but if we don't learn to "date" new couples or make new friends, how will we feel fulfilled or connected? Friendship is important for humans. Even if it's uncomfortable I urge you to look around and consider joining something.


1 comment:

  1. So true! I was terrified of not having the college structure to make friends for me (so to speak). We made a few friends when we first joined New Covenant and then a few more when our current class :) started. "Dating" other couples is so hard. How to you move from the old "at school" friends to "outside of school" (or whatever) friends? Who asks whom out first? ;)

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