During the few months I was working part time, I was looking for full time work. I had actually been helping out a few hours a week at an office where a position became available. I applied for the job. The strange thing was that they published the salary in the ad for the position. I thought that I would be a likely candidate for the job since I had made connections in the office. I was also excited because of the amazingly high salary the position was offering. It was a government job with a 60,000$/year income. I was very nervous for the interview, but my husband helped me prepare by quizzing me nightly with interview questions. I did some research as well. I could continue talking about how I prepared for my interview, but this post is not about preparations for an interview.
This post is really about my greed. During my interview preparations and the week following the interview I started to drift in perspective. I started to dream about all the amazing things we could buy with so much extra income. It would have been a significant jump in income, from my low paying (10$/hr) part time gig to this huge salary. I started to think about how I deserved such a great paying job since I have a graduate degree. I reasoned that my hard work in grad school would all be worth it, if I got this job. I imagined what an awesome jump this job would lead to in my career path. There would be no where to go but up... in income after this job.
I thought about how I would "need" a new wardrobe. After all, someone that gets paid so much money should dress like they get paid so much money. Of course, I would be "reasonable"...maybe spend 500$-1000$ on new clothes over the course of 3 months. I started telling family how fast we would pay off debt if I got this job. Which is interesting considering I was coming up with the idea to spend so much of the extra income on things we didn't need.
I also experienced guilt. I thought about how fast we would pay off debt and how it wouldn't be much of a struggle. How would I counsel others, who were struggling to pay off their debt, when I wasn't sacrificing at all? Since all my friends and family know we are on a budget, what would they think of my new clothes or new purchases of nice things in our home..while we still had debt to pay off?
All this happened in just the few weeks that I studied for my interview and while waiting to hear back if I got the job. What a tremendous shift in thinking. Before I heard about the job...and the salary...I was so set on sticking to our written budget, no matter what job I got. But, immediately I started imagining how I would spend the money on things I didn't need.
It all came crashing down when I didn't get offered the position. It was difficult to hear. I threw a small tantrum. I cried to my husband and to my friends. All my hopes about how I would spend the extra income were gone. My ideas about the extra clothes and nice things were ripped from my head.
What I was left with started to make me realize how greedy I had been. I was left with a wonderful home full of stuff, a wonderful husband, a fun part time job, time to talk to great friends, good health, time to workout, time to see my family, time to make great food, and still enough money from the part-time job to make extra payments each month. It's amazing how the thought of extra income morphed my hopes and dreams for a few weeks.
Here I am a few months later waiting to hear back about a new and exciting full time job. Luckily, I didn't know what the pay would be until the day of the interview. It's less, but that's not a problem because it will still be a significant amount to put towards extra payments! I also haven't made any plans for spending the extra income on things we don't need. Lesson learned.
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